but I digress..alot

I'm preparing for an interview today with River Island. Two things about this;

a) I've already gotten a job offer from Monsoon, but I'm a bit disgruntled since they refused to let me start until I have my school schedule so they know whether it's going to work for them or not (umm..yeah, it's the most sensible thing a business could do..but I'm within my rights to be privately disgruntled regardless), and

b) I don't really want to be in retail (it's a sales assistant position), I'd much rather be doing something in finance, which contributes to what I want to do after uni (more on that later)..but people aren't really hiring part time for those sorts of jobs. Soooo...my choice to stick it out in retail is purely for the discount. Yep..staff discount..cuz I'm no longer in denial..I'm now comfortable to admit I LOVE TO SHOP!

That's right..I'm one of 'those' women who may not walk past a pretty store window, without going in to have a peek. Seeing as I'm often constrained by The Student Budget...it hardly goes beyond a peek. And so, I fully blame my current financial situation, for my stunted fashion development (no, it's not my lack of creativity, or lack of following the 'in' things, or even remembering the 'latest trends'- except that they're always in your face).

Blah..this tea is horrible

So back to my interview. With such short notice..I got the call last night, and interview is today..I'm certain I have nothing appropriate to wear. I know I put alot about their fashion being edgy and fresh, yada yada on my app..so more than likely, I’m expected to look the same...yikes. But that's small fries anyway..

The Big thing that happened to me yesterday was..I somehow decided that I want to work in finance- Investment Banking..the Corporate world..all that demand and discipline and power and well..power that comes with it. I'm not talking about sitting at a desk shuffling through excel spreadsheets all day..that's where we all start.. but I’m talking about the big guys..Dina Powell, Amy Woods Brinkley, Lisa Caputo. I'm talking about the impossible stuff..what you only dream about, and never achieve...that's what i'm aiming at (to achieve it ofcourse!).

As usual with me..when I hit on an idea, or get started with something, I get passionate, excited..a bit obssessed. I've always had a 'feeling' about Goldman Sachs.

Years ago, I stumbled on their website while looking for good examples of business mission statements..and they appealed to me, somehow i've kept going back to their website just to browse...even when I only dreamed of heading in that direction..when I had practically accepted that my life was going to follow a familiar path: get my degree, head back home, start up a business or keep working at the business my ex-partner and I had already started. But yesterday, when I had my sudden epiphany..I thought.. Goldman Sachs..why the hell not.

Yes it's competitive and practically impossible to get in to...

Yes top grades are a major plus/requirement (and my 1st year grades although indicating a 2:1, I still consider to be shite. I sense a digression coming on..)

...1st year I prepared not-at-all for exams..seeing as I was going through that drama period in my life, the worst yet most strengthening experience thus far;

a) excitedly planning my wedding for june 2008,

b) finding out in march 2008 that my fiance (first boyfriend and only partner for 8 years..since I was 18) was having an affair,

c) having to cope with losing my mind..on my own, with no family, no friends (i'm in London on my own, all family is..are? back 'home'),

d) having to come to grips with the new reality that...all I had worked for, and built for the past 8 years had suddenly evaporated..the business I built with him, the property we purchased to build our home, dreams of our first Christmas as a 'family', the rest of my wonderful life (fraught with the usual problems of a relationship- bring em on), promise of sitting on rocking chairs in our old age having a scotch and feeling content with all we had accomplished..all vanished

e) having to call off my wedding - cancel my beeeeeautiful Pronovias wedding dress, throw all ready-for-dispatch, partly-DIY invitations in the trash, cancel perfectly co-ordinated bridesmaids dresses...you get the idea,

f) having to consider preparing for exams when all I could think was my heart has been shattered into a million pieces and I may not survive the next few days,

g) having to sit exams after being malnourished (yea, I stopped eating), unfocused, and unprepared.

But I digress..

Back to Goldman Sachs... should this be two posts..?